Ever had a client storm out of the waiting room without saying a word?
Or go completely silent when asked a basic question?
Or snap at you out of nowhere?
These behaviours might seem confusing — but they’re often nervous system responses, not personality problems.
Let’s break down what’s actually happening when someone flips into fight, flight, or freeze mode — and what you can do to support them.
What Is the Fight/Flight/Freeze Response?
This is your body’s built-in survival system. It helps people respond to threat — even if the threat is emotional, not physical.
But here’s the key:
The brain can’t always tell the difference between danger and discomfort.
So if someone’s had past trauma, medical fear, or overwhelming stress, the simple act of waiting for an appointment can trigger a full-body alarm.
What It Looks Like at Reception
Fight Mode
- Raised voice or aggressive tone
- Demanding to see someone “now”
- Accusing staff of being unhelpful or incompetent
- “This place is a joke!”
What to do:
Stay calm. Lower your voice. Set gentle but clear boundaries.
“I really want to help. Let’s take a moment to figure out what’s going on.”
Flight Mode
- Pacing, restlessness, tapping or fidgeting
- Asking to leave or reschedule
- Difficulty staying still or focused
- “Never mind, I’ll just go.”
What to do:
Acknowledge how hard it is and offer a sense of control.
“If you need a break or some fresh air, that’s totally okay. I’ll hold your place and check in shortly.”
Freeze Mode
- Blank stare, silence, flat responses
- Trouble answering questions
- Fidgeting, shut down, tearfulness
- “It’s fine… whatever.”
What to do:
Speak gently. Don’t overload them with choices or questions. Slow the moment down.
“We can take this one step at a time — you don’t need to rush.”
Why It Matters
When clients show up dysregulated, it’s not your job to fix them — but how you respond can shape whether the interaction becomes safer or more stressful.
Understanding the nervous system helps you:
- Stay grounded
- Avoid taking things personally
- Know when to offer space vs. structure
Final Thought
You don’t need to be a therapist to support someone in distress.
Just recognising that a client’s behaviour might be fear — not rudeness — can shift how you show up.
Because sometimes the best regulation tool in the room… is a calm human voice.
