You’re at the front desk. A client walks in — late, flustered, already on edge. Before you can even say hello, they snap:
“This system is ridiculous. Why didn’t anyone call me back?”
Sound familiar?
It’s easy to take it personally. But often, these outbursts aren’t about you — they’re nervous system responses rooted in fear, overwhelm, or trauma.
This guide will help you respond calmly, stay safe, and understand what might really be going on underneath the reaction.
Why People React Strongly in Safe Places
For people with trauma histories, walking into a healthcare setting — especially when distressed — can feel unsafe. They may:
- Struggle with trust
- Feel easily misunderstood or ignored
- Be overwhelmed by waiting, noise, or unpredictability
- Feel like they’re losing control
That stress can spill out in big ways — anger, tears, defensiveness — even if your tone was warm and your words were fine.
Understanding Fight, Flight, Freeze
These aren’t just concepts — they’re physical states driven by the nervous system.
| Response | What It Might Look Like at Reception |
| Fight | Yelling, blaming, demanding “the manager” |
| Flight | Pacing, trying to leave, rushing the process |
| Freeze | Going silent, staring blankly, unable to answer questions |
These responses aren’t rudeness — they’re survival behaviours.
How to Respond Without Escalating
Use a Calm, Even Tone
Speak slightly slower and softer than usual. This helps regulate the other person’s nervous system.
“I can see this is really frustrating. Let’s see how I can help.”
Validate Their Distress
You don’t have to agree to be kind.
“You’ve been waiting a while — I understand that’s frustrating.”
Offer Structure and Choice
When people feel out of control, choices help calm the brain.
“You’re welcome to wait here, or I can check if someone’s free to speak with you.”
Know Your Own Limits
If someone becomes abusive or unsafe, it’s okay to end the interaction.
“I want to help, but I can’t do that while being spoken to like this. I’m going to ask you to lower your voice or step outside.”
After a Difficult Interaction
It’s normal to feel shaky, upset, or even angry. That doesn’t make you unprofessional — it makes you human.
- Take a breath or a break if possible
- Debrief with a team member
- Know that you’re doing your best in a hard role
Final Thought
Front desk teams are often the unsung heroes of trauma-informed care.
Every time you stay calm in the face of distress — every time you meet someone’s panic with steadiness — you create a ripple effect of safety.
And that might be the first safe moment they’ve had all day.
